Why Do I Cry When They Walk?

The other day Deana and I sat down to discuss the remaining training calendar of 2011 and put the final details on the training calendar for 2012. Deana excitedly told me that Alliance for Kids had received funding to provide two classes of Touchpoints for the year of 2011. I could tell this was a special class as her face lit up when she mentioned it. I would like to say that I was just being polite when I asked, “What exactly is Touchpoints?” but honestly, I’m curious and wanted to know what was causing this exciting feel in the air. Deana began to tell me how Dr. T. Berry Brazelton has labeled these pivotal points a child’s life, i.e. when a child begins to pull themselves up, begins to walk, begins to become more independent, etc, as Touchpoints. Dr. Brazelton describes what happens to the child at that time, as well as what happens to the parents and the dynamic of the family. She had mentioned that often, a parent feels grief when they come across these Touchpoints.

“So let me get this straight, what you are telling me, is that during what is supposed to be the happiest time during a parent’s life, they actually grieve through a lot of it?”

“In a sense, yes.”

I left our little discussion wondering why a parent would feel like sadness over their child growing up. Isn’t that what kids are supposed to do? Grow up??? Doesn’t that mean, that you as a parent are doing something right, to bring your child along to go through that Touchpoint? Aren’t you supposed to be happy?
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Now, I am not a mom, but I have been around kids all my life and I have enough nieces and nephews to share with many of you. This last weekend, my husband and I took our oldest nephew with us to Mount Rushmore. Over the course of the three days, I found myself a little sad by how fast he is growing up. He is no longer the little boy who can’t wait to sit in my lap, nor is he the little boy who likes to constantly be at your feet, because he wants to be around you. Instead he is now the boy who pushes me aside to run to his Uncle (because he’s cool-er) and the boy who likes to jump in puddles and do dare devilish things (quite possibly to make my heart jump…I can’t return him to his parents broken…). Upon feeling this sadness of “my little J Bear is growing up”, I had to stop and wonder if I, myself, just experienced a Touchpoint??
Dr. Brazelton only talks about Touchpoints up to six years, and the immediate family, but I’m pretty sure, there has got to be a Touchpoints for ages 7+ and somewhere in there for Aunts’ too. I’m anxious for these classes to start and will keep you posted as to the details of this informative class.

Until then, I’m curious, what do you think of as Touchpoints in your children’s lives?